Skinny B?

 

Have you seen the new ideal of Romanian beauty?  People are amazed at her 20 inch waist. Is this the new reality of the epitomy of beauty?  Actually, corsettes have been around since the dawn of...oh the 18th century or earlier.  There have been numerous women way past the chic Victorian era who have decided to sport a corset to help mold their waistline, like Cathy Jung's 39-15-39 physique, Guiness World Record holder.  Although many women love the fashionable modern corset, it's early days were more reminiscent of the distorted beauty ideal of the Chinese bound foot, painful. Early corsets sought to suppress the most prominent of female features, the breasts, in favor of accentuating and perpetuating a prepubescent-sized waist. Why are women consistently being made to look like little girls and forced into a square peg-into-a-round-hole-ideal of beauty and praised for it? I'm pretty sure that someone convinced this model that if she wanted to be pretty, this is what she should do. What do you think?    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag4hNbqy2SI

Breaking Up Part Deux

So, how do you actually say what you need to say without being over come with guilt?  Guilt and worry are part of the confrontation process.  You just  have to accept that breaking up is a necessary evil, because if you don't go through with it when you know you need to extend the amount of personal space between you and the offending individual, then you are stuck and out of luck.

You you have come to the conclusion that your life will be loads better without this certain used-to-be-special someone.  Hey, you gave it your best try, or maybe you didn't, it's just time to go.  Some times, we enter into relationships with people who have very obvious character flaws that make them dangerous to be with and sometimes, we love someone who just has a different path than the one we envision for ourselves.  So, we find that we must say those dreaded words, "I'm leaving."

Options are:

1. Being with you has meant the world to me and I will always love you. For now, I need to be alone, so I'm leaving this relationship behind.

2. I am unhappy and I refuse to continue to be unhappy, so, bye.

3. This [relationship] doesn't work for me any more. I really love you, but I'm not staying.



You can declare your break up any way you like. These options are just examples, especially if you are concerned about hurting the other person.  However, there are a few rules you should absolutely follow:

1. (for good Karma) Don't be cruel.

2. (for self respect) Don't be guilted into thinking you owe any further explanations or justifications for why you are breaking up (explaning won't make things better or easier, or help them to understand that you have made up your mind and you are moving on).

3. Don't change your mind a few days later and fall into that all too common, in-and-out, back-and-forth drama. You are not together for some very valid reasons and giving it another, oh...six tries isn't going to make the reason you parted ways the first time not exist.

Yes, breaking up hurts. Yes, you feel bad about it in the beginning. Yes, having to say the actual words out loud makes you want to avoid the confrontation altogether. But, remember, choosing you and your well-being first is always an excellent move. Your sense of love for life will return and you will relish it. You now have created an opening for something or someone more beautiful to enter.  That's a lot worth celebrating. You are worth celebrating.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s&ob=av2e

Steps to Breaking Up

When it's over, it's over.  We all have that feeling that says, "This isn't working, this doesn't feel joyous, this is bringing out the worst in me."  What is seriously unsettling is the number of people, especially girls, who continue to stay in the relationship.  Sometimes, there's the hoping that things will get better syndrome. Often, there's the maybe it's me syndrome. Usually, it's the but we have future plans and dreams that keeps you tethered to the one who shall be called lame syndrome.  Breaking up isn't easy. No one likes confrontation. We don't want to hurt the feelings of the other person, yet we are so miserable, so choosing to suffer in silence is the logical choice, right? Oh, my! Here's some good steps to follow: 1) Always choose your happiness over someone else's, 2) The other person's happiness isn't your responsibility, 3) The minute you realize it's time to move on, DO IT!, never wait until after such and such, 4) Grieve, cry, stay in bed, but not for too long,what ever you need to heal  because this is stressful and it is a loss, 5) When that creeping feeling overcomes you to call the other person because you are soooo lonely and might have made a mistake, DON'T DO IT!, 6) Rest assured that the minute you let something toxic in your life go, you now have room for many wonderful things to occur, like welcoming an even better, quality friend or lover into your life now that there's no stagnation, taking in deep breathes and acknowledging that freedom feels good, and a newfound realization that you are stronger than you think, will survive this, and that loving yourself and new possibilities in your life is intoxicating.  Loving your life alone will always trump pretending to love your life in a mediocre relationship. There's just so much more to look forward to. Party on, girlfriends!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

What Will You Sacrifice For Love

I was thinking about the recent news of Demi Moore's sad life.  You never know what is truly going on with someone in private. She seems to have many successes in her life, three daughters, a sound and mature relationship with her ex, a seemingly blessed new marriage, a  long career, yet she found herself alone and getting high.  Why does she hate herself so much? This post isn't so much about Demi, but she does make an excellent case for why girls should love themselves. It is really sad to live an existence based on a need for approval and validation from others. Marriage or relationships can be a type of validation for a girl's worth in the world and when that relationship dissolves, many feel broken, unloveable, and full of self-hate. I think in Demi's case, there may have already been some fractures in her spirit to be partaking in such reckless behavior. I just wish that self love and acceptance was high on the priority list for the majority of girls and that we didn't grow into adulthood with fragile esteems always doubting our worth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnuuYcqhzCE&ob=av2e

Lady in Waiting

Sometimes, I wonder how much of a woman's upbringing is spent in learning how to wait. Think of all the things we are made to wait for. We wait for our turn, for our breasts to grow, for him to notice us, for him to call, for him to ask us out, to take us to prom, to marry him,  for him to come home, in line at the post office, the grocery store, for our sanity to return, for time to breath, for our kids, for our friends etc.  We constantly wait for someone to do something or for something to happen, for the other shoe to drop. What ever!

Molly Sat Waiting For Her Father - Forestwyck

  

There are stories filled with women waiting, magazine pictures, and artistic renderings.  There are historical concepts of the "Lady in waiting" and how we are all "waiting for Prince Charming" or a "Knight in shining armour" to save us because a woman will always be the quintesential damsel in distress. WE simply can't do anything for ourselves. WE  have to wait for someone to come and do it for us or make up our minds for us. I've known some chicks who have turned being helpless into an art form, everything from putting gas in their car to paying a bill.  Afterall, haven't you heard...guys like to feel needed (what's ridiculous here is that some girls buy into this idea so much that they go out of our way to be helpless just so their guy can feel more like a man...like his self-esteem is our responsibility). 

Well, you know what waiting will get ya. Take a good look...say, in a mirror. Girls aren't helpless. WE don't need to wait for sh**!  Buy yourself a dozen roses, no reason or special celebration necessary. Ask him to the prom. Hell, ask him to marry you and buy your own diamond ring. At least when you open the little velvet box you won't be disappointed. Or, just buy yourself a diamond ring because you deserve one, no need to add man and stir. Take yourself to a nice restaurant and eat everything you want without having to share your dessert or look across the table at judgemental eyes. If and when the right guy or the right opportunity presents itself, that'll just be the blessing you were hoping for, but until then, what are we waiting for?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg&ob=av2e