When it's over, it's over. We all have that feeling that says, "This isn't working, this doesn't feel joyous, this is bringing out the worst in me." What is seriously unsettling is the number of people, especially girls, who continue to stay in the relationship. Sometimes, there's the hoping that things will get better syndrome. Often, there's the maybe it's me syndrome. Usually, it's the but we have future plans and dreams that keeps you tethered to the one who shall be called lame syndrome. Breaking up isn't easy. No one likes confrontation. We don't want to hurt the feelings of the other person, yet we are so miserable, so choosing to suffer in silence is the logical choice, right? Oh, my! Here's some good steps to follow: 1) Always choose your happiness over someone else's, 2) The other person's happiness isn't your responsibility, 3) The minute you realize it's time to move on, DO IT!, never wait until after such and such, 4) Grieve, cry, stay in bed, but not for too long,what ever you need to heal because this is stressful and it is a loss, 5) When that creeping feeling overcomes you to call the other person because you are soooo lonely and might have made a mistake, DON'T DO IT!, 6) Rest assured that the minute you let something toxic in your life go, you now have room for many wonderful things to occur, like welcoming an even better, quality friend or lover into your life now that there's no stagnation, taking in deep breathes and acknowledging that freedom feels good, and a newfound realization that you are stronger than you think, will survive this, and that loving yourself and new possibilities in your life is intoxicating. Loving your life alone will always trump pretending to love your life in a mediocre relationship. There's just so much more to look forward to. Party on, girlfriends! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Steps to Breaking Up
When it's over, it's over. We all have that feeling that says, "This isn't working, this doesn't feel joyous, this is bringing out the worst in me." What is seriously unsettling is the number of people, especially girls, who continue to stay in the relationship. Sometimes, there's the hoping that things will get better syndrome. Often, there's the maybe it's me syndrome. Usually, it's the but we have future plans and dreams that keeps you tethered to the one who shall be called lame syndrome. Breaking up isn't easy. No one likes confrontation. We don't want to hurt the feelings of the other person, yet we are so miserable, so choosing to suffer in silence is the logical choice, right? Oh, my! Here's some good steps to follow: 1) Always choose your happiness over someone else's, 2) The other person's happiness isn't your responsibility, 3) The minute you realize it's time to move on, DO IT!, never wait until after such and such, 4) Grieve, cry, stay in bed, but not for too long,what ever you need to heal because this is stressful and it is a loss, 5) When that creeping feeling overcomes you to call the other person because you are soooo lonely and might have made a mistake, DON'T DO IT!, 6) Rest assured that the minute you let something toxic in your life go, you now have room for many wonderful things to occur, like welcoming an even better, quality friend or lover into your life now that there's no stagnation, taking in deep breathes and acknowledging that freedom feels good, and a newfound realization that you are stronger than you think, will survive this, and that loving yourself and new possibilities in your life is intoxicating. Loving your life alone will always trump pretending to love your life in a mediocre relationship. There's just so much more to look forward to. Party on, girlfriends! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I
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Your posts are so relate-able and real. I love it! :)
ReplyDeleteBreaking up is so hard and I'm sure so many girls can relate to the things you have said.
But right now I find myself staying in a relationship that I know is over. And I hope I can be strong enough to get through it and stick through it til the end
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. There is a Buddhist ideology that says when you clear the clutter, you create space for something to enter. If there is no space, there is no opportunity. I hope you can find your courage.
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